Just sitting here. Eating my leftover piece of chocolate mousse cheescake from The Cheesecake Factory. Mmmmm....
Let me start by saying THANK YOU SO MUCH to everyone who kept us in their thoughts and prayers while we were away. I just can't find the right words to describe how amazing the trip was. Never in my life have I felt such an incredible peace and protection as I did over the 8 days we traveled to meet our children.
Philippians 4:6&7 says:
"Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus." I get it.
Thanks to the support and encouragement from so many of you, for the first time in my life, I get it. This trip could have and should have been scary, hectic, and full of anxiousness and worries.
It wasn't.
It was calm. It was peaceful. It was gentle. It was perfect.
Scott and I keep asking each other,"What would we change? How could things have gone better?" There is nothing we would have changed. It went better than we could have expected.
Meeting the children.
Again, I struggle for words to describe this. I've told the story so many times since we've been home, that you'd think I'd have the Cliff's Notes version memorized and could recite it with ease. But, I still don't.
I find myself thinking in pictures.
I see a puzzle piece, the last one out of one thousand, gently easing into it's intended space.
I hear a wheel with spokes, turning, click, click, clicking. Everything slows down and then one final "click." It comes to rest, right where it was meant to be.
When I saw the children, our children, for the first time, all I could think was, "Well, here you are. Finally...here...you...are." And truly, there they were. At some point during the visits, I was able to hold each of them on my lap, in my arms, close my eyes for a moment, and just breath them in.
An amazing 4 year old little boy. Brown eyes. Silly laugh. Happy smile. How can you be so happy? I've been told just small portion of what life has been like for you. Not very happy it seems. Yet, here you are. Obviously, with a heart full of goodness and love to give. If only I could scoop you up and take you home today. We'll name you Justin.
The next day, in a different orphanage, hand in hand, walk 2 little girls. Our daughters.
A gorgeous 3 year old little girl. Big blue eyes. They're not sad eyes, but they seem still, quiet, thoughtful. They seem to tell a little about your story, where you've come from. Smart, helpful, an organizer. You are kind to the other children. You take care of your sister. For a while, I just watch you. I am in awe that I get to be your forever mommy. We decide to name you Natalie.
On my lap rests the baby. 2 years old. Pretty little face. Big blue eyes. I see your stuffy nose, hear your little cough. Yet you are happy and content. Before our visit is through, we get some smiles and teasing little laughs. You sit in daddy's lap and I think to myself, "Oh, little one, you have no idea how much you are already loved." We will call you Aly.
Okay, okay, back to present time! I get so caught up remembering them. Our time together was much too short, but it was blessed. Really, we have been immeasurably blessed.
I've finally downloaded all of the pictures from our trip. However, I can't post any recognizable photos on this public blog. I'll include one of Natalie and Aly watching Scott play the piano and one of Scott holding Justin. I'll probably only leave these up for a day or two, because I'm not even sure if these will be allowed.
Again, thank you. I wish I knew how to express how grateful, fortunate, and humbled we are by the love and support that have been showered upon us.
