Post Placement Visit

It's so quiet in my house right now.
The kids are napping.
The dog is snoozing.
No cars rumbling by.
No neighbors buzzing about.
It's so calm.

Today, we had a visit from our social worker. Our 6th month post placement report is due to Russia in January... which means it must be at our adoption agency in December... which means the social worker must complete it in November.

Everything went well. She stayed for a couple of hours, played with the kids a bit and asked us all of the required questions. The kids did a great job playing on their own while Scott and I sat through the interview. No one melted down. No one (Justin) pushed his sister. No one (Lexi) rolled headfirst off the couch. When given a direction, no one (Natalie) crossed her arms and huffed, "I don't want it!" Good job kids! :)

Today did give Scott and I a chance to think about how far we've come since those crazy days in Russia. We're all learning our new roles. I realized that I spent so much time worrying about how the kids would adjust, I didn't realize it would take me some time to adjust as well. And if we've made it this far in only 4 months, what will life look like a year from now? I try not to think that far ahead though. Right now, I'm doing the one day at a time dance.

We were asked what we found rewarding about parenting. There are certainly rewards. Knowing that Justin, Natalie, and Lexi are together and safe is the biggest. Other special moments pop up throughout the day. Laying beside Justin at night, taking turns saying what makes us happy. Watching Lexi softly pat Justin on the back when we're reading a bedtime story.

You know what my biggest reward is though? Putting my head on Scott's shoulder and knowing we're in this together. I could never do this with anyone else. He is my perfect partner.

Happy Halloween 2008!

It was the kids' first Halloween..... and it was our first Halloween with kids!
I'm not sure who was more overwhelmed... them or me.
Actually, I'm sure... it was me!
A few things I learned:
Figure out the costume thing waaaay ahead of time! Turns out there are several events requiring costumes in the weeks leading up to the big day (library, preschool...)
Have more than 1 costume. Figuring out a costume that works in 90 degree heat and a cool rainy day is not so easy (we had both last week).
Stock up on bobby pins.
Kids are super bendy... see bounce house video below!

Halloween morning we headed downtown for some storefront trick or treating. We switched Lexi out from a pink princess to Minnie Mouse. Still quite adorable. This was their first trick or treating experience. They got into a pretty good rhythm, but before we were halfway done, Natalie asked to go back to the car because her bag was too heavy. Gee, poor thing. That brings me to the next thing I learned.... Don't buy any candy. Next year, I will be "regifting" their morning haul!



Later that evening we went to church for some more fun. Lots of games, pizza, music, more candy, and best of all... the bounce house! Lexi is an animal. I probably should have been worried about my baby bouncing around with kids 2 and 3 times her size... but she's a tiny monster! Even when she crashed (which was every time!), she jumped right back up, ready for more.



At preschool, Justin and Natalie had to dress up as community helpers.
Justin was a police officer and Natalie was a vet. All in all, our first Halloween was a success! Today, Natalie asked if we could carve another pumpkin. I told her we'd have to wait until next Halloween. Her response, "Tomorrow?" Definitely not tomorrow. I think I need to start Christmas shopping! :)

Pumpkin Patch and More

Not too long ago, the kids and I made a trip to the local pumpkin patch. We were able to go on a tractor ride, pet some cute farm animals, pump water from an old well, and decorate little pumpkins. They had a good time and were shocked to see so many pumpkins in one place! Lexi loved the animals. I think the baby goats were her favorite... Remember, this is the little girl who shrieked in fear when she saw a cat in Russia! These days we have to keep an eye on her, because she wants to pet every dog she sees.

The whole concept of Halloween hasn't quite sunk in, but the kids definitely understand they get to dress up in costumes and there is candy involved. Ooh, and they were especially excited to hear they would be going outside at night time! Today we went to story time at the library. The kids were able to wear costumes. Meet Buzz and my two little Pink Princesses.





We carved a pumpkin last weekend. I haven't done that in YEARS! Maybe since the first year we were married? I don't know, but it's been a while.
The girls weren't loving the icky pumpkin guts.



The kids could not come to an agreement about what kind of face the jack o'lantern would have. Natalie insisted on "happy", while Justin pushed for "grumpy." (Uh, that was pretty telling about the week he'd had!) So, our confused pumpkin was a compromise, with a half smiley and a half frowny face!

Back Online!

After weeks of no wireless internet and several days of no service at all, it seems we're up and running again! Pumpkin Patch pictures coming soon! :)

The Family Movie

While we were between trips and waiting on a court date Scott and I compiled some of our first visit pictures and videos into a little slideshow/movie. We actually showed it at the benefit dinner back in May. (As it turned out, we got our court date the next week!)

We brought the dvd with us to Russia when we went to pick up the kids. We watched it together in the hotel and I think we watched it soon after we returned home. However, since then, we haven't played it. Not too long ago, Natalie asked me if we could watch "the family movie." It took me a little while to figure out what she was talking about. Seriously, these kids don't forget anything! Me, on the other hand... I put my cell phone in the fridge yesterday, instead of the cup of milk I was holding... but I digress......

Back to the dvd.... So, we put it in the other day... and they watched it, pretty intently... and I watched them. Sometimes they grinned, sometimes they giggled, sometimes they furrowed their eyebrows, often they looked over at me and said, "Remember!?"

I smiled and nodded. I remember that whirlwind first trip. Siberia in January. Seeing the children for the first time. The fleeting hours in the orphanages. The overwhelming peace I felt, even as I boarded the airplane to fly away.

But then, there's this whole chunk of their lives that I will never know. I don't have the option of remembering. I have some details, of course. I know a little about the birth family. I've walked the halls of their "Russia House" (as they've come to call the orphanage). But I'll never really know how their little hearts felt... how their souls may have hurt... how each of them spent those first precious years. I missed it. And it makes me sad. But it's okay. It's part of the deal when you adopt. Those missing years have led directly to today.

And now, I'm overcome with something else...
I think about the 3 precious children God has blessed me with.
I also think about the little faces we left behind in the other "Russia Houses."
I think about my friends who have suffered the loss of their dear babies.
I think about the many, many women I know who are struggling with infertility... whose hearts ache for a child.
And I think about how easy it is in America for us to throw away our children. I will never, never understand how aborting a child can be celebrated as a choice. I don't get it. So many Family Movies that never get made.

3 Months Home and Livin' the Dream

October 2nd marked our three month homecoming.
Three months.
We've been home three months.

People ask if we can remember life without them.
Um, yeah... I remember.
People ask if the time has flown by.
Not really.

I'm kind of stuck in this dilemma of wanting to treasure the NOW... things like the kids learning English, this only year when they will all be home with me, 3 little ones in the bathtub, singing silly songs in the minivan...

But the NOW is so exhausting!

Because the NOW also involves a sister that is constantly antagonizing her brother, a brother that thinks it's his job to boss his sisters around, a daughter that seems to be doing her best to find out if this mama and papa are really here to stay, a son whose favorite place to be is stuck to his mama's leg, lap, arm, neck, wherever, and a baby sister who can be easy going one minute and kicking and screaming on the floor the next.

So, instead of treasuring the NOW, too often it feels like the days are melting together into one big heap of wet beds and time out threats.

Sometimes Scott and I just look at each other and shrug... Yep, Livin' the Dream.

And we are.
But the Dream sure involves a lot more bickering and refereeing than I imagined.

But, when I get over my sarcasm and look past the dirty dishes in the sink.... what I see are 3 truly happy children. Children who are safe, who soak up love and who deeply care for each other. A woman who is learning humility, who needs daily grace and strength from the Lord, the only One who can truly provide enough. A man, who loves unconditionally, is patient beyond measure, and who is completely devoted to his family.

So, while the NOW exhausts me and I usually feel guilty for not relishing in the NOW... when it comes right down to it, the NOW is pretty okay.

For those of you who are picture hungry:
Fun with playdough



Too hot outside! Let's build a fort and watch a movie!

Remember Russia?

We often try to talk to the kids about Russia. We want them to know their story and how we became a family. It's tricky though, because they still don't really have the language to understand us or express their own memories.

The first few weeks we were home, we'd show them pictures and ask about the children or caretakers in the orphanage. Both Justin and Natalie were quiet and wouldn't say much of anything. We took to calling the orphanage the big house, with lots of boys and girls, where you had a pink bed. For Justin, it was a white bed. Anyway, we tell them that we were here in this house and were so lonely without any children. We talk to them about coming to visit them and then waiting for a very long time before we could bring them home. We talk about our time in Russia and traveling on an airplane. We talk about how God had planned for us to be a family forever.

But lately, Justin and Natalie have been talking a lot more about some of the things they remember. It all seemed to start just the other day. Before naps I was going to read Brown Bear, Brown Bear. Now this was THE BOOK we bonded over in Russia. We must have read it a hundred times a day and Justin and Natalie had the words memorized before we even set foot on American soil.

So, a few days ago, I sat down with this book and Natalie perked up.
She said,"Remember! Remember the different house?!" (I think she was talking about the hotel)

I asked, "Did we read this book in Russia?"

Both J and N, "Yeah!"

And then Justin chimed in with what must have been one of his most vivid memories.

He asked,"Remember, Justin wants to ride in the stroller and Mama and Papa don't understand?!"

Poor guy. That really is the epitome of our first few days with him in Russia. He was soooo frustrated with communication. Hence, the crazy tantrums and airplane meltdowns, I guess.

As their language continues to grow, we've had some more detailed conversations about being a family. Justin, especially, says some of the sweetest things. Recently, he told me, "Justin wants a Mama and a Papa. I like this house. I want to stay our house with Mama and Papa and Sisters."

Our little boy. Our little Justin. Yes buddy, you are home forever.