2 more days. We need to get home. NEED. Justin is making life so very difficult for everyone, including the hotel room neighbors, the tourists in Red Square... you just never know when he is going to completely lose it. It's BAD.
We're encouraged by your comments though. Thanks Jeremy Park, especially, for reminding us of the perspective we need to have. You're right. And Taseena, you betcha we're trying out the Benadryl today! :)
We're trying to imagine what life is going to look like when we get home. We've read the books, heard from the specialists, and listened to many other adoptive parents who have "been there." We know we need to keep our world pretty small at first. Let the kids learn their new home, learn a routine and hopefully settle into something normal. So there's that side of the coin....
But on the flip side... I miss everyone! I miss Sunday church service and small group. I miss taking the dog on a walk. I miss Target, darn it! :) The idea of being couped up, alone in our house makes me really panicky. Besides, I think the kids need some playmated. Justin especially needs to be reminded that it's okay to share, to take turns, to relax and have fun.
So, I guess we'll play it by ear. I hope the kids will be up for some low key visits.
As far as attachment goes... They are all doing well with recognizing us as their primary caregivers, as mom and dad. In fact, last night, Justin put his arm around me and said, "Moy Mama" then looked at Scott and said "Moy Papa." Isn't that wonderful? Of course, he was screaming 10 minutes later because Natalie touched his rolled up placemat from TGIFridays!
Anyway...attachment... Often strangers will stop and talk to them (restaurants, hotel lobby, etc.) All 3 of the kids seem to show an appropriate amount of hesitancy. When we were at the playground they all seemed to be checking back in with us every few minutes, with a glance or coming back for a touch.
So when it comes to early visits from friends and family and how to interact with them: It's okay to play and talk and give head pats or hand shakes. But for now, it remains important that Scott and I are primarily giving affection, taking care of owies and providing for their needs. This is NOT to say that we don't need or want help. As much as we have needed your encouragement and prayers the last few weeks and months, I know we still need your support.
I better get going. I could have steak and lobster for what this is costing me...
Oh. Steak and lobster........
Monday, June 30, 2008
Sunday, June 29, 2008
Papa's Perspective
Hey everybody! It's me, Scott. I hope you don't mind, but I'm going to be doing a little substitute blogging for today.
Let's start with an update, shall we? It's Sunday afternoon here in Moscow and there hasn't been any official business to take care of since our visit to the Embassy on Friday. So we've tried to fill up our weekend with a trip to a park to play (thanks for the tip, JP) and another into Red Square to take in some sights. Other than those outtings, we just try to do little things here and there to help fill up our days.
Things haven't exactly been easy for us. The kids have so many needs and Chrystal and I are trying our best to meet them all, but we are being stretched to the limit. Justin has been the biggest challenge for us. He's been tough when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes he doesn't get his way because it's not what's best and other times he doesn't get his way because we don't understand what he wants. I feel awful for him, though. Here's this boy who's about to turn 5 that was just taken from his "home" where he had many friends, a routine, people caring for him that spoke his language, a cool indoor and outdoor play area,... Now he has a mama and papa that he can barely understand and who seldom understand him, 2 sisters he was just reunited with as his only playmates, no playground to go to unless we take a long walk, a new routine and set of expectations,... I guess we should be grateful. Considering all of that, he could be a lot tougher on us than he is.
The girls have been adjusting OK. I think Natalie is really enjoying all of the personal attention she wan't getting in the orphanage. Every few seconds it seems we hear "mama, pasmatree" (which means look) and then she'll do something silly. Little Lexi's personality has been starting to come out a bit these last few days. She requires 1 on 1 defense when we're out, though. You never know when she'll just wander off or into something. That means the other parent has to zone up on the other 2 kids.
So Chrystal and I are finding a little bit of joy with our kids each day, but mostly we are just trying to survive. We can't wait to hear the captain say that we've began our descent into LA. 3 days to go. We are holding on to the fact that this is what we wanted. This is what God wanted. It's His plan.
It's a lot tougher to get down to the business center these days, but just know that we can't express enough how thankful we are for the prayers, words of encouragement, and support so many of you have given us through comments or emails over the past month. They've put smiles on our faces and have helped us press on to the next day.
Don't worry, your regularly scheduled blogger will be back next time. Doesn't she do an amazing job? Like many of you, I can't wait to read them after she tells me about a new post.
Let's start with an update, shall we? It's Sunday afternoon here in Moscow and there hasn't been any official business to take care of since our visit to the Embassy on Friday. So we've tried to fill up our weekend with a trip to a park to play (thanks for the tip, JP) and another into Red Square to take in some sights. Other than those outtings, we just try to do little things here and there to help fill up our days.
Things haven't exactly been easy for us. The kids have so many needs and Chrystal and I are trying our best to meet them all, but we are being stretched to the limit. Justin has been the biggest challenge for us. He's been tough when he doesn't get his way. Sometimes he doesn't get his way because it's not what's best and other times he doesn't get his way because we don't understand what he wants. I feel awful for him, though. Here's this boy who's about to turn 5 that was just taken from his "home" where he had many friends, a routine, people caring for him that spoke his language, a cool indoor and outdoor play area,... Now he has a mama and papa that he can barely understand and who seldom understand him, 2 sisters he was just reunited with as his only playmates, no playground to go to unless we take a long walk, a new routine and set of expectations,... I guess we should be grateful. Considering all of that, he could be a lot tougher on us than he is.
The girls have been adjusting OK. I think Natalie is really enjoying all of the personal attention she wan't getting in the orphanage. Every few seconds it seems we hear "mama, pasmatree" (which means look) and then she'll do something silly. Little Lexi's personality has been starting to come out a bit these last few days. She requires 1 on 1 defense when we're out, though. You never know when she'll just wander off or into something. That means the other parent has to zone up on the other 2 kids.
So Chrystal and I are finding a little bit of joy with our kids each day, but mostly we are just trying to survive. We can't wait to hear the captain say that we've began our descent into LA. 3 days to go. We are holding on to the fact that this is what we wanted. This is what God wanted. It's His plan.
It's a lot tougher to get down to the business center these days, but just know that we can't express enough how thankful we are for the prayers, words of encouragement, and support so many of you have given us through comments or emails over the past month. They've put smiles on our faces and have helped us press on to the next day.
Don't worry, your regularly scheduled blogger will be back next time. Doesn't she do an amazing job? Like many of you, I can't wait to read them after she tells me about a new post.
Friday, June 27, 2008
Friday in Moscow
It's Friday afternoon in Moscow. Using the internet here is almost $1 a minute, so I won't be posting much.
In an earlier post I mentioned that we affectionately refered to ourselves as The Freakshow. Uh... let's just say that we've TOTALLY lived up to our name... and then some!
Justin is really, really frustrated with the language barrier. We (Scott espcecially), know more Russian than any other couples we've met here, but it's not nearly enough. Justin is also really struggling with getting alone with the girls. He's super possessive of everything. He wants to be first at everything. He wants the most of everything. Now, throw in the fact that we can't explain that there will always be enough to go around, that everyone will get a turn, etc, etc... He's had a very tough time. We never know when he might lose it. He's had some pretty bad (and loud) tantrums... like on our 5 hour flight from Kras to Moscow. What a nightmare!!! Passengers kept coming over to try to help translate his screams. Scott knew exactly what he was upset about (not getting the headphones he wanted for the DVD player), but once he got going... it was OVER!
The day of that flight was the longest day of my life! We were up at 3:30 am. Waited for 2 hours in the airport. Had a disaster of a flight. Got picked up in MOscow and rode in a HOT car for 2 hours. Had visa pix taken. Arrived at the hotel, only to be told our room wouldn't be ready for another hour. Had to do paperwork with our "facilitator" in the hotel lobby, with 3 overly tired, hungry, extremely grouchy kids... It was terrible. My sweet husband made a grocery store run later that night and brought me "home" some flowers though. :) What a guy.
All in all, we're hanging in there. We're getting enough rest and learning to ignore the wide eyed stares. Scott had the "best bacon cheeseburger of his entire life" at TGIFridays yesterday.
Pretty much all of the clothes I brought for LExi are too big. I have one outfit that actually fits and somehow she is either wet or dirty 5 minutes after I dress her. So, if you hear about this Freakshow family that had their youngest dressed in pj's for most of the day yesterday... yep, that's us.
The girls are definitely warming up to Scott. He's being so patient with them and doing a great job reading them and looking for moments to connect. All of them love to be held, which poses a problem when there's 2 of us and 3 of them. It's a good sign though.
Natalie continues to be a completley different girl than the one we spent time with in the orphanage. Sweet', silly, super needy.
Words we hear at least 100 time a day:
Moy! Mine
Dai! Give it
Ne Nada! Stop it
MaaaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! (ALL DAY LONG!)
So we're okay. There have been some really hard moments, but we're getting by. We just want to get home. NOt sure how the dog is going to fit into the mix. Lexi cried when she saw a cat in the play yard at the orphanage! :)
Take care all. We miss you!
In an earlier post I mentioned that we affectionately refered to ourselves as The Freakshow. Uh... let's just say that we've TOTALLY lived up to our name... and then some!
Justin is really, really frustrated with the language barrier. We (Scott espcecially), know more Russian than any other couples we've met here, but it's not nearly enough. Justin is also really struggling with getting alone with the girls. He's super possessive of everything. He wants to be first at everything. He wants the most of everything. Now, throw in the fact that we can't explain that there will always be enough to go around, that everyone will get a turn, etc, etc... He's had a very tough time. We never know when he might lose it. He's had some pretty bad (and loud) tantrums... like on our 5 hour flight from Kras to Moscow. What a nightmare!!! Passengers kept coming over to try to help translate his screams. Scott knew exactly what he was upset about (not getting the headphones he wanted for the DVD player), but once he got going... it was OVER!
The day of that flight was the longest day of my life! We were up at 3:30 am. Waited for 2 hours in the airport. Had a disaster of a flight. Got picked up in MOscow and rode in a HOT car for 2 hours. Had visa pix taken. Arrived at the hotel, only to be told our room wouldn't be ready for another hour. Had to do paperwork with our "facilitator" in the hotel lobby, with 3 overly tired, hungry, extremely grouchy kids... It was terrible. My sweet husband made a grocery store run later that night and brought me "home" some flowers though. :) What a guy.
All in all, we're hanging in there. We're getting enough rest and learning to ignore the wide eyed stares. Scott had the "best bacon cheeseburger of his entire life" at TGIFridays yesterday.
Pretty much all of the clothes I brought for LExi are too big. I have one outfit that actually fits and somehow she is either wet or dirty 5 minutes after I dress her. So, if you hear about this Freakshow family that had their youngest dressed in pj's for most of the day yesterday... yep, that's us.
The girls are definitely warming up to Scott. He's being so patient with them and doing a great job reading them and looking for moments to connect. All of them love to be held, which poses a problem when there's 2 of us and 3 of them. It's a good sign though.
Natalie continues to be a completley different girl than the one we spent time with in the orphanage. Sweet', silly, super needy.
Words we hear at least 100 time a day:
Moy! Mine
Dai! Give it
Ne Nada! Stop it
MaaaaaaaaaaaaMaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!! (ALL DAY LONG!)
So we're okay. There have been some really hard moments, but we're getting by. We just want to get home. NOt sure how the dog is going to fit into the mix. Lexi cried when she saw a cat in the play yard at the orphanage! :)
Take care all. We miss you!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Monday, June 23, 2008
Freakshow
Freakshow...that's what we've now fondly started calling ourselves. You should see the stares we get as we cruise around town. What? You've never seen 2 ragged looking Americans, pushing a wobbley double stroller, and lugging a 4 year around in a hip hammock? It probably doesn't help that Justin has taken to wearing the airplane eye mask around most of the day. :)
Their favorite book is by far, Brown Bear Brown Bear. While we were out walking after dinner last night, Natalie was all snug against me in the carrier and I could hear her singing, "Yellow duck, yellow duck, what do you see?" So cute. Even though I was dripping with sweat and my son was sitting in the front of the stroller with a blue mask on his face, I WAS SO HAPPY. I had a moment. You know, one of those moments everyone has been promising me would come.
We got the kids' passports today. We are supposed to get picked up at 4:30 AM tomorrow. Yes... 4:30 AM! I'm NOT looking forward to that... or to packing. We've added a stroller and a potty to the load. Yep, we're lugging the pink plastic potty to Moscow!
This will most likely be my last post for a while. After we get settled in the Marriott I'll have to figure out the internet cost, etc. We continue to pray for grace for the day, patience, rest, energy, communication (with Justin especially)... and an easy airplane trip!
Here's a few more pix to tide you over until I can check back.
One more try at a family picture.
Giggles with Papa!
Thank you Nathan and Christian! The DVD player was a hit last night!
Lexi loves to play in the fountain.
Yep! The Freakshow ate dinner OUT yesterday! We did great!
Their favorite book is by far, Brown Bear Brown Bear. While we were out walking after dinner last night, Natalie was all snug against me in the carrier and I could hear her singing, "Yellow duck, yellow duck, what do you see?" So cute. Even though I was dripping with sweat and my son was sitting in the front of the stroller with a blue mask on his face, I WAS SO HAPPY. I had a moment. You know, one of those moments everyone has been promising me would come.
We got the kids' passports today. We are supposed to get picked up at 4:30 AM tomorrow. Yes... 4:30 AM! I'm NOT looking forward to that... or to packing. We've added a stroller and a potty to the load. Yep, we're lugging the pink plastic potty to Moscow!
This will most likely be my last post for a while. After we get settled in the Marriott I'll have to figure out the internet cost, etc. We continue to pray for grace for the day, patience, rest, energy, communication (with Justin especially)... and an easy airplane trip!
Here's a few more pix to tide you over until I can check back.
One more try at a family picture.
Giggles with Papa!
Thank you Nathan and Christian! The DVD player was a hit last night!
Lexi loves to play in the fountain.
Yep! The Freakshow ate dinner OUT yesterday! We did great!
Sunday, June 22, 2008
Naptime!
Naptime, sweet naptime!
The kids are all napping... all 4 of them. Poor Scott is so tired today!
The stroller has been a huge hit. They all love to be in it. Add one Ergo baby carrier and we've got everyone safely corralled and we can hit the town. Okay, so we've stuck close to home (that's what I've been calling our hotel room these days). Yesterday we did manage to stop for popsicles, which they devoured with sticky enthusiasm. Rookie mom here forgot to bring the wet wipes, so we washed our hands in the fountain! Not so much a rookie that I don't know how to improvise! :)
We've eaten all of our meals in the room. Lexi barely eats anything. Natalie will eat most things. Justin eats absolutely everything, including everyone else's leftovers! I'm so proud to be feeding my children meals of lunch meat, instant mashed potatoes, top ramen, and yogurt! Throw in a banana here and there and we call it a well rounded meal!
An update on our itineray: We are supposed to get the kids passports on Tuesday (That photo session was fun.) We leave for Moscow early Wednesday morning. It will take us 7 days to do what other agencies are getting done in 3 day (not bitter or anything). Then we head home Wednesday, July 2. It's getting closer!
Gotta get back to do some laundry before everyone wakes up. Thanks for the comments. We're always so excited to hear from you.
The kids are all napping... all 4 of them. Poor Scott is so tired today!
The stroller has been a huge hit. They all love to be in it. Add one Ergo baby carrier and we've got everyone safely corralled and we can hit the town. Okay, so we've stuck close to home (that's what I've been calling our hotel room these days). Yesterday we did manage to stop for popsicles, which they devoured with sticky enthusiasm. Rookie mom here forgot to bring the wet wipes, so we washed our hands in the fountain! Not so much a rookie that I don't know how to improvise! :)
We've eaten all of our meals in the room. Lexi barely eats anything. Natalie will eat most things. Justin eats absolutely everything, including everyone else's leftovers! I'm so proud to be feeding my children meals of lunch meat, instant mashed potatoes, top ramen, and yogurt! Throw in a banana here and there and we call it a well rounded meal!
An update on our itineray: We are supposed to get the kids passports on Tuesday (That photo session was fun.) We leave for Moscow early Wednesday morning. It will take us 7 days to do what other agencies are getting done in 3 day (not bitter or anything). Then we head home Wednesday, July 2. It's getting closer!
Gotta get back to do some laundry before everyone wakes up. Thanks for the comments. We're always so excited to hear from you.
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