Independence? Hmm, that's a little ironic, since I seem to have lost mine somewhere between here and Siberia! :)
So we're home. Wow, home feels good. I can't help but hope that someday, when our children are older, they'll be able to come HOME and know the relief and comfort it brings. Finally, they have a HOME.
So you're probably wondering how the flight was, right? Compared to our first one, this was 100% better. They were all squirmy for the first few hours, but repeated trips to the restroom kept us moving (so gross). The girls slept for a good 5 hours toward the end, while Justin, who was completely exhausted, somehow managed to keep himself awake... the entire time! I guess 2 out of 3 isn't bad. We hung in there though. A 2 hour wait through immigration was torture, but when we finally rounded the corner with our bags, 3 staggering children in tow, and I saw Scott's parents waiting there, I was overcome with... I don't know, with something! Relief I guess. It was so good to see familar, loving faces.
And now our quest to creating normalcy, a routine, a safe haven. I'm told there are so many people out there who are checking the blog and praying for us. Are you still going to be as interested in my posts about doing laundry and cleaning toilets??? :)
And now a quick confession. Things have been hard. Mostly with trying to handle Justin, but also just keeping an eye on all of them, loving them enough, giving them enough attention... sometimes when we don't feel like it. There have been moments when I've felt like this was the longest babysitting job of my life. When the kids are finally sleeping and I probably should be standing over them, grateful, in awe of the beautiful blessing, I don't want to. Scott and I have both looked at each other, exasperated, and thought, where is the joy? I look forward to getting some joy back. So while we know that this new life of ours is the fulfillment of God's promise... we know that it is an amazing honor to be part of living in his plan... we know that things will be easier, happier, more joyful soon... we haven't done a great job of acknowledging that God continues to be the author of this journey... and we definitely haven't been saying thank you, even in the midst of struggle.
I read this in a devotional this morning and I found it pretty convicting... and just what I needed:
O you of little faith,
God has not failed you yet!
When all looks dark and gloomy,
You do so soon forget-
Forget that He has led you,
And gently cleared your way;
On clouds has poured His sunshine,
And turned your night to day.
And if He's helped you to this point,
He will not fail you now;
How it must wound His loving heart
To see your anxious brow!
Oh! doubt not any longer,
To Him commit your way,
Whom in the past you trusted,
And is just the same today.
I hope to get some pictures up soon. Please don't be afraid to call and check in on us. It wouldn't be a bother. Thanks for loving us.
8 comments:
In Dependence Minute/Hour/Day/Week/Month - your children are in dependence on you two while you two are in dependence on the Father. What a great 'family' to be a part of.
Welcome home! I'm so glad I got to talk to you both yesterday... as you know, I don't "stand still and wait" very well at all. I'm reading this book called "I Was a Really Good Mom Before I Had Kids"... seriously, that's the title. It's basically about modern motherhood, not comparing yourself to other moms and losing your identity within motherhood, etc. There is a chapter about expectations and making sure to align your expectations with your reality. Your reality right now is to adjust to being HOME. You are going to have a neverending to-do list, but it doesn't matter. You don't have to have a smile on your face 24/7; you're allowed to be tired, frustrated, irritated... you're human. You love those kids, you're following God's plan AND you're TIRED. It's okay. We'll continue to pray for you... we love you and yes, we'll continue to read about laundry and toilets!!! Love, Stacy
So glad you are home. I love the In Dependance idea. Your devotional spoke to me so much. We are dependent on Him.
Enjoy every moment with your children. It will be a long journey, but the rewords are fantastic - Just look a Melanie.
Some day one of your children will be a missionary (maybe to Russia) or a doctor, or... but what every they become they will have you to thank and you will be filled with such joy - words cannot express.
Yes, I want to hear everything - even the pottie stuff. By the way, PLEASE, ask for help. If you need someone to clean that pottie at 2AM, you call, and I will be there with a smile on my face and a brush in hand.
You remind me of God's strength and how much we all need His strength. Thank you for your inspiration.
LUV U5. ITGFY. WEL,
Uncle Larry
Welcome back! Thank you for everything you shared. I agree with everything that was written before - please remember to give yourself grace, especially in this unknown process. No parent can be everything to their children - it's impossible. And it's okay to take time for yourself, to take Molly for a walk and get a breather outside, to read or nap when they do, to take a Target trip (two or three times a day!)...haha! I'd love to chat with you and catch up. I'll give you a call either today or tomorrow. And just like your Uncle Larry reiterated, please feel free to call us if you need anything! :) Happy 4th of July!
Wow...I so appreciate how you share your heart...parenthood is tough and you are in the thick of it right now, probably even more so since there is the language barrier.
God never gives us more than we can handle, which is great news however it always seems to feel like we get our wires crossed with God, thinking that we are stretched way beyond our limit...
It is totally normal to feel all that you are feeling, grieving your former life (aka before 3 kids) is all part of the process, allow yourself to feel every feeling, they are neither good or bad they are just feelings. :)
We are so glad that you all made it home safely and that the flight went better, you were all surrounded by prayers and we will continue to do so.
We are getting ready to leave for Northern CA (Jackson, then Tahoe) today and won't be home for 9 days....so I will give you a call then. Love you friend and don't forget to take care of you and one another(like Christian said).
It seems to help Jamen and I to remind ourselves during stressful times that we are on the same team striving for the same goal (we tend to take our frustrations out on one another anytime the stress level goes up ;)
Love you guys!
So happy you are home. Prayer doesn't end on Gotcha day. We'll keep praying for the transition and settling into a new life. My mental health strategy? I write down how I am thankful any free moment I get -- I only have 2 and I picked them up one at a time. Grace abounds in my situation and and you are going to get to see even more of God's grace and strength. Look expectantly for it. You won't be disappointed -- you'll be quite astounding. Look forward to how the Lord will refine you!
I may just take you up on the offer of a call -- when is the best time 3 am?
WELCOME HOME! So glad that you all made it home safe. Thank you for sharing the devotion you read this morning. It convicted me also. I got a text from Larry telling me there was a new entry and so I pulled it up while I was feeding my newborn. I was so tired cause neither of us got much sleep last night and I got to the devotion part and was trying not to cry. Thank you for sharing and for your openness and honesty. And please keep the entries coming. I'm addicted! :D
I took a second to look back on old blogs you've posted and found it a beautifully ironic that you started this on July 4, 07. Here it is one year later and you're home with your children. God truly does have a plan for EVERYTHING. You talked about plane rides with 1, possibly 2 small kids back then and now you've both officially survived the trip with 3! I have no great parenting advice but enjoy the beauty in the small things!
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